Are You Willing To Change?

When you want something in life, sacrifices must be made.  Something must be given up to attain that which you greatly desire.  A lot of times when people hear the word ‘sacrifice’ they instantly think of “Illuminati,” and killing your grandma, your sister, your brother, or your dog.  I am not touching that with a 10-foot pole. LOL.  But what I will touch on is what my own personal journey has taught me so far: You must be willing to change.  You must be willing to give up the old you.  The lazy, undisciplined, uncommitted you.

It is one thing to say you want to change, but it is another thing entirely to actually change.  It takes effort.  It requires commitment, strategy, and preparation.  No matter how loud you declare your desire to change, if you do not pay proper attention to these requirements, you may as well be talking to a brick wall.  Because your best efforts will be futile.

With any significant or worthwhile endeavor, once you make your declaration and start to work toward it, Resistance will creep in to derail you.  It will tell you all the reasons you cannot and should not do it.  (Super huge s/o to Steven Pressfield for identifying the big, ugly, boogeyman, Resistance!)  When this happens, you need commitment as your first line of defense.  You need to know exactly why you need to change.  Take the time to dig deep into the recesses of your mind and find what is motivating your desire.  Then keep that in mind.  Because, Resistance is going to dig deep to tell you why you shouldn’t, and that the comfort of staying the same is the best course of action (yes hunny, it will convince you that stagnation is action LOL #benotdeceived boo!).

If commitment is your first line of defense, comfort is Resistance’s.  Comfort is straight up insidious.  It promises to be secure and cozy and will always fill you with goodness and warmth.  But the truth is it is fleeting and temporary.  Before you know it, it has betrayed you and left you annoyed, aggravated, and stagnant.  Many people stay in this place, pacifying themselves with consumption and materialism.  To avoid this, recognize and remember that your why is greater than anything comfort could promise you.  (Random fact: me moving to NY was my first break up with comfort!  And truth be told, sometimes I still try to get that old thing back! LOL)

Once you have gotten a firm hold of your commitment, you must put a strategy in place of how you are going to implement the change.  You must have a plan of action.  If you have not heard by now (no shade or shame if you have not, that is why I am here), it is not enough to say ‘NO’ to something.  You have to say ‘YES’ to something else.  If you are like me, for example, and struggle with watching too much television daily, it is not enough to say, “I’m not watching TV!”  You must have a replacement activity that fills your time and attention.  Otherwise, you will be saying ‘No TV’ all the way to the sofa as you turn on a rerun episode of Love and Hip Hop or The Real Housewives. Lol!  Therefore, you need to put a plan in place to go to the library, or Starbucks, to read after work.  Get up Saturday morning and go to the museum, a festival, the Farmer’s Market – anything that will keep you out of the house and off from in front of the television.

Lastly, you must prepare for this plan of action.  If you are going to go to Starbucks to read, then get your coffee budget together, have your book in your bag, and most of all do not fill up on coffee throughout the day.  I must tell you; this is where I get tripped up.  I will have the best intentions, set a solid plan in place, and then fail to execute, because I do not properly prepare for what I planned.  I don’t gather my materials, or I let my intention wane, because I don’t keep my commitment top of mind (that’s why you should write your goals down, keep them in sight, and read them every day). (I am getting there y’all, I promise!)

I know this sounds like a lot of work to change, but it is worth it.  I am not entirely where I want to be (I still have a lot of changes that I need to make), but just the little that I have changed feels AMAZING!!!  Sometimes I do not even feel like myself.  I realize I am not the same person anymore.  I’m in transition of becoming (s/o to Michelle Obama) someone new.  Someone who puts themselves out there, takes risks, and shows up with knees shaking.  Someone done caring about being judged.  Someone who is not afraid to fail, and someone who is determined to walk in her purpose and into her destiny!

I really want to encourage you, Beauties:  Identify one area you want to change in and decide what you are going to sacrifice to attain it. (and not your grandma, you brother, your cookies, none of that! Lol) Then put a plan of action in place to make it happen!  And remember, remember why you are doing it!

You can do it, Beautiful!  You can make the change!  You just have to be willing!

Until Next Time, Beautiful!  Make That Change Girl!

xoxo,

–LM